Not to be sarcastic (HEE HEE) but is there Ex Lutheran or Ex Babtist websites? Does ANY other organization mess people up this badly? So badly that you'd rather commit suicide than live & deal with it? The mental & emotional CONSTANT guilt? When I would go to the hall, I would feel UNWORTHY, and so much to work on. When I go to church now- I see I am the best that I can be- and that Is ALL I can do. Not the same standard for everyone- each person is capable of only so much. I think it is sad when you are born into the religion or raised in it. Then, if you try to please your parents & get babtized, there is NO way out- unless getting disfellowshipped, and losing your ENTIRE family. Most families are happy if their children serve god- they don't care which house or building it is in. The whole thing is so sad.
Perfection Seeker
JoinedPosts by Perfection Seeker
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27
Is there life AFTER leaving?!!??!
by Perfection Seeker inmy name is melissa.
i am 33 years old.
my parents started studying when i was 5. i am trying to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in.
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18
Deprogramming
by Perfection Seeker ini am new on here- already posted one thing about life after leaving- got great responses.
as you can see by my name "perfection seeker" i was a witness.
i am now leaving, and not a perfection seeker :-) does anyone have information on exit counseling or deprogramming?
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Perfection Seeker
So sorry to hear about you being alienated from your son. (How old is he?) I know first hand this happens- I've seen it for the past 20 some years! What a life ahead of a child- I wouldn't go through it again for all the money in the world! The ONLY thing I can say in your husband defense- keep in mind I am an EX, and bitter, etc- but the ONE thing that helps comfort me, personally, is that they THINK they are doing what is right. They are doing what they THINK god wants. Sure, so does Osama & his clan- but if you look at the witnesses & feel sorry for them, and at least that they are TRYING to please god, helps a little, although not enough not to be bitter. My mother is so wrapped up- that if the society said to strap a bomb on your back- she'd be one of the first to do it at ALL costs. Sad. Very sad. Hopefully your son will see his way clear. Keep the doors open. Good luck!!
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27
Is there life AFTER leaving?!!??!
by Perfection Seeker inmy name is melissa.
i am 33 years old.
my parents started studying when i was 5. i am trying to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in.
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Perfection Seeker
I have so many tears flowing now from the last few posts- I can't thank you enough! Isn't it sad that it takes years of RECOVERY to break free? All because of a choice to get babtized. What other religion would SHUN you for worshipping god in another building? I truly never even knew god at the Kingdom Hall- it was all about being perfect. (My perfection seeker is just a joke on the witnesses- screw perfection!) Being perfect, saying & doing the right thing, NOT GETTING CAUGHT FOR THE BAD, worshipping an ORGANIZATION, not a god, etc. It is so sad that it takes years of recovery. I think I am over the guilt of leaving the organization, I can handle that- leaving behind my ENTIRE family is the hard part. (Just posted on the deprogramming post about this) I can't believe I was so suicidal, yet stayed for my family- part of me died in 95- and I knew I had to let myself live, or I would die all the way. I think they would have rathered that. BUT, I do remember being in enough to worry about people like me, so I can't blame them too much. Sad. The whole thing is so sad.
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18
Deprogramming
by Perfection Seeker ini am new on here- already posted one thing about life after leaving- got great responses.
as you can see by my name "perfection seeker" i was a witness.
i am now leaving, and not a perfection seeker :-) does anyone have information on exit counseling or deprogramming?
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Perfection Seeker
HI! Thank you all so much for writing! I guess what bothers me most- is hearing people who say they left 7-8 years ago- and yet are still on this website. I mean, it is a great website- and a great start to mental & emotional freedom- but I had hoped in 7-8 years I would be fine, and forget about all that past crap, and not "NEED" websites like this to vent. Do you ever really break free mentally? I have been distancing myself for several years, and truthfully, if it weren''t for my family- I'd have left long ago & NEVER looked back. BUT, when your ENTIRE family, not one family member NOT a witness, it is hard to just walk away. There is all the emotional & mental guilt- and anquish over leaving your family. The cult, the organization, the SO CALLED true religion- I am past all that- have a great relationship with God- better than the 20 some years as a witness. Its the guilt from ALL the family, and the lost years. I am very "worldy" wise so to speak, have great support group, great friends- it's not lack of friends, or social retardation, which I think the witnesses WANT you to have- it is the family left behind- mother, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, I mean my WHOLE ENTIRE family, other than my married into family is witnesses. That is ALOT to leave behind. I have been in therapy, not specifically about the witness thing, but about emotions, feelings, etc- the therapist says to let go- feel good about where I am, etc- but an ENTIRE family wiped out, yet still only 15 minutes away- that is hard to deal with. The rest I have a grip on.
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18
Deprogramming
by Perfection Seeker ini am new on here- already posted one thing about life after leaving- got great responses.
as you can see by my name "perfection seeker" i was a witness.
i am now leaving, and not a perfection seeker :-) does anyone have information on exit counseling or deprogramming?
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Perfection Seeker
HI Justin- Just emailed you- but also- feel free to write in here- lots of helpful people on this website! :-)
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18
Deprogramming
by Perfection Seeker ini am new on here- already posted one thing about life after leaving- got great responses.
as you can see by my name "perfection seeker" i was a witness.
i am now leaving, and not a perfection seeker :-) does anyone have information on exit counseling or deprogramming?
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Perfection Seeker
HI! I am new on here- already posted one thing about life after leaving- got great responses. As you can see by my name "Perfection Seeker" I was a witness. I am now leaving, and NOT a PERFECTION SEEKER :-) Does anyone have information on exit counseling or deprogramming? I thought I could make it on my own, but now think I might need a little help.
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27
Is there life AFTER leaving?!!??!
by Perfection Seeker inmy name is melissa.
i am 33 years old.
my parents started studying when i was 5. i am trying to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in.
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Perfection Seeker
HI!
Can anyone give me information on exit couseling or deprogramming or anything to help me!?!? -
27
Is there life AFTER leaving?!!??!
by Perfection Seeker inmy name is melissa.
i am 33 years old.
my parents started studying when i was 5. i am trying to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in.
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Perfection Seeker
This posting & replies is the most therapeutic thing I have EVER done! Thanks so much everyone! Helps give you a little amunition when dealing with the "great crowd" :-) It is sad- but really, there is no HONORABLE way out- I mean, there is no way but to be bitter. Not like you can just say- oh, I decided I want no part- it is all or nothing. Hard to believe I was one of those people who shunned others for leaving. If I could go back in time...... well, would at least not have gotten babtized, and HOPEFULLY not shunned people, but that is what the cult does to you- no outside info or influences, so that is all you know as normal. This website is awesome. Been reading nonstop for two days, really helped at a time when I needed it most! Thanks again!
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27
Is there life AFTER leaving?!!??!
by Perfection Seeker inmy name is melissa.
i am 33 years old.
my parents started studying when i was 5. i am trying to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in.
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Perfection Seeker
Lisa,
Thanks for writing! I have tried to turn the tables & limit my contact with my family, too- but lately I feel that the disfellowshipping will be close at hand, so I want to see my family now, while I can. So sad that we have to choose!
Can you believe the hours & mental anquish we put in? How many years for you? How did you FINALLY break free? I think it is so sad that we have to choose- I mean- they have to choose between God & Family. I don't think that is really what he wants, do you?
When I was growing up- for 23 years I never even knew god- but instead served an organization. Makes you feel bad for the ones left behind, doesn't it? Do you remember being a "good" witness & reading about websites like this? :-)Thanks again for writing- good luck in your journeys ahead! Don't let it turn you away from God- he is wonderful! Its that darn organization that messes people up, not God! :-)
Meliss
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27
Is there life AFTER leaving?!!??!
by Perfection Seeker inmy name is melissa.
i am 33 years old.
my parents started studying when i was 5. i am trying to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in.
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Perfection Seeker
Hello! My name is Melissa. I am 33 years old. My parents started studying when I was 5. I am TRYING to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in. I have been disfellowshipped, reinstated, and now I am inactive. My WHOLE family are witnesses- no fooling- my parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, neices & nephews. My father recently died-and now everyone gives me the whole guilt & BS about never seeing him again since I don't go to meetings. My mother emails & calls daily asking why I don't love Jehovah & why would it be so hard to just go to 5 meetings a week- "It means your life" With the help of my husband, I have finally realized that it is a cult, and that I want NOTHING to do with the organization. Took 5 years of knowing him before I would even let him bring up negative. I guess my question is this: Does it get any easier? I mean, I have a great relationship with God now, better than I ever did for all those years. I do not feel like I have left the only true organization or anything, but it is the family & friends pull. The guilt, the looks, the terrible terrible guilt. I don't think anyone can understand the guilt & emotions unless you've been there. My husband tries to understand- but has not been a witness, so really can't grasp it. He says losing my ENTIRE family is not a big loss, they've hurt me & continue to hurt me. But, I still hate the thought of missing all the weddings, births, funerals, parties, etc- being NO part of my family is quite sad. I really was desperate & suicidal the last two years I was a witness- tried to kill myself several times- thought that was my only way out. FINALLY see the way out- and am happy, actually HAPPY attending church on Sundays, happy at my new found bible knowledge, yet can't share it with them, they think I don't love God or attend church or anything. If they find out- I get disfellowshipped again. This time I will NOT take the steps to get reinstated- so this time it will be the last time. I guess it is comforting to read in here about others that have made the step. I just wonder if late at night, in the middle of a storm, you ever doubt yourself- wonder if you are the wrong one? I am pretty firm in my new found beliefs, but every once in awhile- MUCH fewer & far between than before wonder....but it passes. I just wonder how long it takes to totally deprogram yourself, and if anyone actually ever had deprogramming. Also, just a wondering if anyone lost their ENTIRE family & friends, and if there really is life afterwards? I guess I am repeating myself & rambling. I would welcome ANY comments- at this time- ANYTHING is comforting. Thanks! Melissa